Killing Me Softly With His Song
by arkaydee
Summary: Bella's self-conscious side has returned and begs her to return into town. Unknown to her is a new found hardship formed from her transformation. Will she be able to resist the temptation or will her stubbornness and determination prevail? Set after BD.


**Hey, this is my first ever fan-fic so I'm pretty excited. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

** (AN 2013: I am really not into Twilight now, so I will definitely never be finishing this. But I'll leave it here, because everyone's done something embarrassing, right?)**

**Disclaimer: Just to clear things up, I am not Stephenie Meyer or the writer of Twilight. I never will be, not without a time machine anyway. Not to self: make time machine.**

Killing Me Softly With His Song

For the first week in quite a while absolutely nothing different, exciting, interesting or life-threatening happened to any of my family and friends. Well, obviously compared to my past human life all of the above applied, but I had gotten used to my new vampire senses and abilities, though I wasn't sure everyone else had. Edward seemed more reserved towards me, and Jacob needed to leave the house more often than I liked – taking Renesmee with him, of course – to get away from the 'smell'. Emmett was still the same as before, though without as many irritating remarks courtesy of my victory in our arm-wrestling match. Alice was still controlling my wardrobe like a dictator. Rosalie and I were much closer after my pregnancy with Renesmee. Jasper seemed much more at ease around me now that he didn't have to focus on not eating me. Esme was still Esme, kind and caring as ever and Carlisle the same, the understanding leader. I felt much closer to everyone now that I was one of them, I was beautiful, strong, fast, cold, and I smelled quite good too. Though I was absolutely fine with staying around the house and becoming acquainted with the everyday habits and routines of the Cullens my self- conscious side had slowly ebbed back into my large vampire-mind and I realized that eventually I would need to head into town, just to keep up appearances and to buy groceries – I didn't want people thinking we didn't eat. Well we didn't eat, but the innocent people of Forks, Washington didn't need to know that, and Charlie still came over occasionally which required a good stock of food seeing as I was still a little concerned about the type of diet he was receiving in between meals at Sue Clearwater's.

In the second week after our run-in with the Volturi I decided I was ready to go into Forks and face the burn in my throat I knew would come when I caught the scent of a human. I voiced my thoughts with Carlisle and he had agreed, I had been a common topic with the towns-folk and everyone would expect Edward and me to be back from our honeymoon by now. I knew that everyone would agree with my decision, everyone but Edward. He still didn't trust my control completely. I was supposed to be crazy with thirst for the first year or more of my vampire 'life' and yet I didn't even flinch when my father came over or when Renesmee's scent, though it was much weaker than that of a human, blew my way. I plucked up the courage to tell Edward one night. Edward was always much more relaxed during the night, and in his impatience for us to move to the bedroom he would be much less likely to think everything through.

"Edward," I announced reluctantly while I sat with him on the plush sofa in front of the roaring green fire in our small house in the woods, "I want to go into town this week."

Edward looked at me as if I'd just asked if we could order Pizza. "Why?" he questioned "we don't need to go into town. We have everything we need right here."

"We don't have food." He gave me the same quizzical expression, "For Charlie. And people will be wondering where we are, we're meant to be back from our honeymoon by now."

"You're not ready, love, we can't risk it. Do you want the Volturi to have to come back again?" He was trying to scare me out of it but I wasn't falling for it.

"I can stand the smell of blood, Edward. Haven't I proved that? I've been around people: the hikers on my first hunt, Charlie, Renesmee. I went to Seattle, I didn't kill anybody. I can handle it"

"It's just – alright. I just worry Bella. We all had to suffer through an unbearable thirst during our first few years. Why, not you?"

I leaned in closer to him, rested my head on his chest and murmured "I don't know, but why can't we just accept that I'm not like you? I can control my thirst and if you're that worried we can go hunting before we go."

"Okay," he whispered back, planting a line of soft kisses along the top of my head, "but let's sort everything out tomorrow."

I grinned and sat up. Edward was looking at me with those smoldering golden eyes of his that I would eventually share. I all but forgot what our conversation had been about and allowed him to pick me up and carry me into the beautiful bedroom that I was still amazed to know was ours.

The morning came and my mind finally caught up with me as I remembered my longing to go into town. I walked gracefully (one thing I was still not used to) into my wardrobe, which was a room in itself, and pulled out a pair of jeans and a plain white blouse that I had been hiding from Alice in fear that she would throw away my only practical outfit. I slipped on my clothes and sashayed out through the door. I met a disapproving glance from Edward as he guessed what I was thinking about. Sometimes the ability to read minds just wasn't needed.

"Today?" I asked casually. He nodded his head in defeat and I cheered silently to myself. I had won! I began to wonder if I would run into any one I knew in Forks. What would they think of me now that I was almost unnaturally beautiful? Would they suspect that I had had surgery? I looked very different to what I had before my transformation, though the old me was still visible beneath my new splendor.

I sat in the lounge and waited for Edward. He emerged from our room and I was stunned as a shaft of sun-light reflected off a mirror and caused him to glitter. My spine tingled as my stronger, more perceptive eyes caught on his brilliant face. The light disappeared and was replaced with the dull grey of another overcast day in Forks.

"Well, are you ready Bella?" his velvet voice broke my daze and I refocused, "you said you would at least hunt before we left."

"Oh, err, yeah." I had completely forgotten my promise. I stood up and almost ran towards the front door. I was impatient to get into town, but the mention of a hunt had set a dull burn in the back of my throat. On my way past I spied myself in the mirror and became aware of my ebony black eyes. I was thirsty.

I continued out the door and broke into a run as I left the house. Edward caught up and passed me and I leapt high into the air in an attempt to gain my lead. I was much stronger than Edward but he was much too fast for me to beat him. After we had run for a minute or so I began to slow my pace when a familiar scent wafted towards me. I could smell deer nearby. From what I could tell there were four of them, grazing in a small clearing. I heard the soft patter of their hooves as they moved to another patch of grass. I looked toward Edward and knew he had smelled the deer too. He took off, leaving furrows in the dirt where he had been standing. I followed behind him and we were at the deer in a matter of seconds. I watched him leap onto the largest of the deer and then wasted no time in attacking the next largest. I felt the warm liquid ease the burn in my throat as I drank and knew my eyes would slowly change from black to scarlet. When I was done I checked my clothes. There was not a drop of blood or a hint of hair on them. In the past week I had perfected my hunting skills.

"Can we go now?" I asked Edward with a smile as he looked up from his own meal.

"Fine," he muttered moodily, though my sensitive hearing still picked up his quiet word. We sped back to our house. The wind whipped through my hair and I felt the leaves of trees and shrubs stroke my skin softly, though I knew that if any human were travelling at this speed the flora would leave them with a variety of cuts and bruises. We made it to the house and entered it silently, checking whether Renesmee was still sleeping soundly. I heard her quiet even breathing and her steadily beating heart – she was still asleep.

I padded into her bedroom without a sound and watched her sleep. I then carefully picked up her hand and placed it on my forehead. A vivid picture of myself broke into my mind, shortly followed by one of Edward, then Jacob and then an array of strange and marvelous colors. I took her hand off my brow and woke Renesmee from her slumber – something I was glad I no longer needed; I now had much more time on my hands. Though as an immortal all I had was time. Once awake, Renesmee was more than eager to be babysat by my in-laws. Particularly when Jacob arrived shortly after we did. I made sure she would be comfortable without Edward and I there,- though I was sure she wouldn't even notice us leave- said my thank-you's and good-byes then made towards my new 'after-car', my larger vampire mind still refused to allow me to remember anything about it other than that it was a Ferrari.

"May I?" I asked, heading towards the left-hand side of the car.

"It's your car," Edward rolled his eyes and flashed a half-smile that would have sent me sprawling if I were still human.

I pulled myself gracefully into the driver's seat and clicked on my seat-belt out of habit. Edward did the same and I revved the engine, enjoying the speed at which I could now drive in advance. I put it into drive and sped off through the tree-lined driveway of the Cullen home. For the first time since my transformation I felt almost human. I was heading back into town, to my old home. Where it had all began.

**So... reviews help me write, so feel free to write me one... yes, now would be nice. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated **


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